As I waited in line at the hospital to register for a visit. I noticed the lady in front of me fidgeting and looking flustered. She had one baby in her arms and a little girl whom I presumed was her daughter tugging at her dress.
“Mama, Mama, I want to potty” she yelled. While the little girl who could be no older than two years old yelled, the baby in the mother’s arm started crying. The mother reached out to quieten the two-year-old while the baby in her arms was twisting and trying to unclasp the mother’s grip.
People were turning round to see who was causing all the commotion. “I need to go; I need to go” yelled the toddler.
The woman’s eyes caught mine. “I can hold the baby while you take her to the toilet” I muttered. The lady looked at me with an uncertain gaze. “I can help, I’ve been there, done it and have the t-shirt” I said, smiling. I stretched my hands towards her, reaching out for the baby. The baby smiled and the mother released her to me.
The mother hurriedly took the daughter to the wash room. On her return, I reached out to hand the baby back to her. That was when the baby vomited some “Yukie” milk on me. I looked down at my cloths. I now needed to go to the washroom to fix the mess. “I am so sorry” said the mother, as she reached out her hands to carry the baby and simultaneously reach into her bag with the other hand for a napkin. “It’s okay”, I said. It’s not a problem. I’ll just clean up in the washroom. Though the baby threw up on me, it was so easy to let it go. She probably didn’t know any better. I had been nice to it but I now had to clean up the mess caused by the baby. I could have grumbled and made a big deal out of it but I let it go. It could be rectified.
In life, we are going to have many people throw their mess on us when we do not deserve it. We have gone out of our way to be nice to them but they repay us with evil. We have a choice to either let it go or hold on to the issue. We can either retaliate and cause them to suffer for what they have done to us or just let it go. In some cases, it may seem like we are justified to hold a grudge. Everyone can see that the other person is wrong. But do two wrongs make a right?
Is it worth it? What if they are at fault? What do we want to get by deciding not to forgive them? What would be the outcome if we do not forgive them. Would it make their wrong right? Would it make the situation better?
In the example that I gave above, it was easy to forgive the baby because the baby knew no better and probably didn’t know they did anything wrong. We can excuse the baby but adults should know better and if they offend us, we feel we need to hold them accountable. Holding them accountable means not forgiving them and wanting them to pay for the wrong they have caused.
Forgiving them is the greater way. We too must have offended others whom we require forgiveness from. Treating others the way we expect to be treated, should be our lifestyle. I am not saying trust them if they have offended you over and over again. I am saying forgive them and if possible don’t put yourself in a situation where they will easily offend you if you see that they are prone to taking advantage of you.
Forgiveness is a choice. When we make the choice to forgive, God gives us the grace that accompanies that choice. There will be days when we would question if we did the right thing by letting go, and releasing the person who offended us. With time, we’ll realise that we did the right thing because we’ve released that person and can bring closure to the issue.
Holding on to an offense or a wrong is like carrying a burden on one’s shoulder. It’s heavy and it’s weighing you down. It’s distracting and clogs your thought life. Weights take up space that other useful things could use. They take away your productive thought life. Instead of you spending your time exploring new and better things, you waste that time and energy brewing over something you should have let go of.
Let’s declutter our minds and forgive those who have offended us. It is a choice that benefits not just the person we forgive but ourselves.
Make up your mind to forgive even before you are offended. Yes, even before you are offended